12.17.2012

Boys are weird.


Ah Christmas. I love Christmas. I love putting the elf, Trigger, in different spots every night and watching the kids' faces when they find I'm in the morning.

*Wylee just shoved a bead up her nose and I had to quit typing to help her shoot it out. That JUST happened. I wish I could say it was the first, but it wasn't. And it surely won't be the last...she shoves things in her nose quite a bit*

Anyways, Trigger was brought into our home in hopes of encouraging the kids to behave...which worked for like a day. I'm hatching A plan right now that will be great if I actually do it. We always tell our kids that "Santa is watching, he won't bring you gifts if you are bad" blah blah blah, but I've never actually not given my kids a Christmas because they were bad. In all honesty, Santa shouldn't be coming to our house this year. The kids have been on the naughty list in my book. So I'm thinking about heading down to Mom's barn and filling up a giant sack of horse $@&# and setting it in the middle of my living room on christmas morning labeled as reindeer poop. There will be a nice letter from Santa explaining that he ran out of coal this year so they get poop instead. Thoughts?

Russell has been a doozy lately. He just stood in front of me and fished a battery out of his diaper, then 2 more from his pocket...which is why I say boys are weird. They are.

I had no intentions of stopping at sonic for a rt44 this morning. I really didn't, but our weekly trip to Walmart warranted not only a rt44 but some onion rings as well. I hate those stupid carts with the two it kid seats attached. I was talked into getting one this morning as they promised they would behave. And I believed them! Shame on me. Two hours later we finally checked out and I all but pulled my own hair out of my head. Public spankings, check. Yell a the kids across the store, check. Break up a toddler fist fight in front a bunch of people, check (and check again). Stop the kids from licking the gift cards, sadly...check. What a beating. 2 hours of that kind of crap, over and over again. Wow. I know I'm of alone but man I sure felt like I was at the moment...

I haven't been recording Russell's moments lately so this post won't be too exciting but as I think of them I'll write them down. My brain is fried. Merry freaking Christmas :)

11.09.2012

All you have to do is tell them your name....

Things have been a little nuts around here.....the blog took a back seat to living life I guess. Russell hasn't taken a break from being naughty, that's for sure! But then again, neither have the others.

As I stood in line to vote on Tuesday I looked down and realized that Wyatt had yellow marker ALL over his face and then an earlier conversation with Wylee started to come back to me....

(As I walked into the living room)
Wylee: Mommy, Russell colored on Wyatt's face with a markerrrrrr.
Me: Russell is asleep, don't blame him for things that he didn't do.
Wylee: Okkkayyyyyy...

Russell was actually not asleep anymore and he was sitting on the ground  between the couch and the coffee table, which he also colored all over. My brain is so tired I can't even remember all of the stories from the last month. I should have written them down somewhere, maybe made a note or two. He's been his usual little daredevil self, jumping from things and climbing way to high. He's bitten, pinched, punched, kicked, slapped, hugged and kissed (everyone, including non family members). He throws his food, and eats with his hands. He insists on using a big boy cup and then spilling everywhere. He let the bath tub run for several hours a few weeks ago. Looking back, that may have been my fault. Wylee walked out of my bedroom saying that Russell just wanted to take a little cold bath, but Russell walked out about 30 seconds later so I figured they were pretending. A few hours later I heard water running and found the bath tub completely full, thank goodness for those little holes in that silver thingy!! We would have had a flooded bathroom. He figured out how to climb on top of the dryer to get to his Halloween bucket and how to open the giant bag of popcorn in the pantry to help himself (I'm okay with that part).

Now on to Jared....the kindergartner, you know, the one who things food in the cafeteria is free as long as you tell them your name. I actually don't think I have told that story yet. From the beginning....

Jared pulled a spork out of his pocket one day after school so I asked him why he had that, he told me he needed a straw for his drink and it came with the straw......he takes a thermos with an attached straw to school. He then told me that he went through the line and got a chocolate milk, so I asked him how he paid for it. Knowing that his parents are super cheap he threw his hands in the air (as if to stop me from flipping out) and said..."Don't worry Mom, it's free. All you have to do is tell them your name and they let you take the milk." I explained to him that it wasn't free and mommy would be getting a bill for that milk. A couple days later I got a bill in his binder for $12.00!! So I asked him exactly how much chocolate milk he had been getting. That's when I found out he'd been getting breakfast, too. He again tried to tell me that they never asked him for money, so it was free. We had a long conversation about how the only time he should go through the line is if I forgot to give him breakfast or if he left his lunch at home. The next week we get a $14 bill. He admits to getting some more breakfast....then came the $16 bill. Jared and I BOTH try to get it through his brain that he is not allowed to charge food.

I know that I can tell the cafeteria to stop letting him, I was concerned that he might be super hungry if he didn't eat breakfast and I didn't want to leave him with no options. Apparently a Kindergartner gets a little taste of freedom and runs with it.

So we are up to $42 in negative balances and each time I sent a check in I would write it over a bit just for some cushion. Halloween morning I had volunteered to work an activity at the school so I got there at 7:45 and what do you know....Jared is walking down the hall licking his fingers. So I stop him and ask him if he charged his breakfast AGAIN, of course he did. I go to the cafeteria to talk to the lady and let her know that Jared is no longer allowed to have breakfast unless he has cash. That's when I found out that he had a negative $16.50 balance. She said, "I asked him if he was supposed to be getting breakfast this morning and he looked at me and said (she has a sad look on her face with puppy dog eyes as she is telling me what he said) 'My mommy didn't feed me breakfast this morning, and I'm so hungry.'....of course she let him charge. I would have. So I wrote another check and signed a sheet saying no more breakfast. I asked her how often he gets breakfast in there and she said "every morning". WHAT?!?!?!?! I feed him or send food with him EVERY DAY! After all the checks were written Jared spent $86 in the cafeteria in his first 8 weeks of school. Don't try to do the math, I didn't mention all of the bills and no one else charged on his account, his picture shows up along with his number.

That's all I got. I'm sure I'll remember something else as the day goes on, or Russell will provide some new blog material :)

9.11.2012

Yogi BARE and a first side kit.

Let me start out this post by saying it will embarrass a lot of people. Me, my husband, my dad...even the reader may get embarrassed. If you often pee a little when laughing then you should make a trip to the bathroom real quick. Consider yourself warned.

I don't even know where to start. I guess I'll begin with a text message from my dad. He was watching the kids for me this evening while I got paint at Wal-mart.

Daddy: YOGI BEAR DOESN'T NEED TO BE STARTED FROM THE BEGINNING WOW WOW WOW
Me: I know!!!!! I meant to delete that movie!!!
Me: I was beyond mortified the other day!!!!
Daddy: YOU BETTER
Me: Jared did it.
Daddy: I had to make them go in your room while I was panicking and fumbling the remote
Daddy: Jared yelled "that's the movie Daddy wouldn't let us watch!"
Me: Hahahahahahahaha
Me: I'm dying right now, can't even talk to the paint guy
Daddy: Still shaking- they might as well drink tea now and take up smoking
Me: Hahahaha

Now I'll rewind to Friday...Jared recorded Yogi Bear for the kids in the middle of the night so that it didn't interfere with any other recordings. Wellllllll our DVR records the last 3 minutes of the movie or show that comes on before the one you are trying to record. YIKES!!!! Parents: Make sure the movie that comes on before the recorded movie isn't hard core porn. I couldn't press fast forward quickly enough! Why didn't I hit stop? Oh, I don't know. I couldn't think straight! And with every punch of the fast forward button came a new sex scene! Who plays Yogi Bear right after a porno?!?! Anyways, I forgot to delete the movie after I let the kids watch it. So Jared started it for them Sunday afternoon...he was aware of what happened so he had the kids leave the room while he fast forwarded it to Yogi Bear. He didn't delete the movie either. Sorry Dad. I couldn't even talk to the paint guy I was laughing so hard at the counter, I thought I was gonna pee in my pants!
Maybe that wasn't so embarrassing, and I bet no one peed their pants....but I almost did.
I finally made it home. Jared is at the Ranger's game tonight so macaroni and cheese with hot dogs it is!! I am constantly telling the kids to leave the kitchen while I cook...CONSTANTLY. And tonight they learned why. As I was stirring the boiling macaroni water I managed to splash a giant serving-spoonful down my side and hip. I screamed like I was in a horror movie, that flippin HURT! So all 3 kids stood there half laughing and half crying, unsure whether I was just being funny or just in a lot of pain...in an attempt not to scare them I started acting like a fool so they would stop crying and keep laughing. I think it worked. They learned a lesson, when mom says leave the kitchen you better LEAVE THE KITCHEN. Little Jared is so sweet (sometimes, haha) so he grabbed his "First Side Kit" (first aid kit) and informed me that this was his last giant band aid and I needed to refill his container. So I'm bandaged up, it hurts like a you know what though!

Part of me feels like our Yogi Bare-butt story should be kept within the family...but I can't not post about it, it's too funny. Way too funny....

9.07.2012

I need a vacation.

Well we had another eventful trip to Costco yesterday. My list was short so my plan was to load everyone up around 10:30, go grab a few things and feast on lunchables (that's what Jared calls samples) and then have some giant hotdogs for lunch. All was well until Russell dropped his FULL Sprite on the ground :/. Still not that big of a deal...kids finally finish they're hotdogs and I grab my Diet Coke, which as you all know, is as good as gold to me. I load everyone up and kick myself as I realize that I have yet again forgotten to ask for a box at checkout. Such a rookie mistake. As I'm closing the back door I hear Wylee say "oops! Sorry mommy! I spilled my sprite." Uugghh....could be worse. It's worse :( its all over my seat and down in between the console and chair, and its not her Sprite. It's my "much needed-gonna save the day" Diet Coke. Shoot. Good thing I keep a 32 pack handy, AND we were having Frito pies for dinner so I had that to look forward to, right? No. Everyone cried about how the chili was spicy, Wylee only wanted the fritos, Russell was throwing his all over the walls and window (he even rubbed some in Jared's hair), big Jared was still full from lunch...whatever, I enjoyed mine. My story ends with Russell shoving his finger so far up MY nose that it starts bleeding (its still sore). It's Friday, yippie!! While

9.04.2012

I may not survive Russell Owen.

Russell has been pretty busy since last week. I need a vacation. He was actually doing really well on Monday and Tuesday last week...then he had a well check at 8:30 on Wednesday. I thought I was being super-smart-mom by scheduling his 2 year check up at the same time as Wyatt's 4 month. Knock em both out at the same time, no need for a sitter! It turned out to be more like not-so-super-smart-mom. I got there 10 minutes early they open at 8 (I think) so I thought the wait would be minimal if I scheduled it really early. We enter the elevator with some guy who kindly held the door for us AND he let Russell push the button...but Russell pushed the HELP button. The lady answered and I explained that the button was accidentally pushed so she hung up (without saying goodbye, meany). This is a really good start. Then we sign in and sit down, but Russell decided to get a cup of water from the water cooler. I hate that water cooler. Within 3 minutes of being in the waiting room he was soaked in water. Soaked. But don't worry, we waited so long to see the doctor that by the time it was our turn he was dry and FURIOUS. Our appointment was at 8:30, I got there early, and by 9 I went to the desk to see why we were waiting so long. Russell wouldn't stop screaming and crying, I almost joined him. I'm not the type that gets angry with people over something that is out of their control but I came close. My nerves were shot and we still had to do 4 shots for Russell and 2 for Wyatt. Once we finally got called back into a room all hell broke loose. Our pediatrician is our family doctor so on the table are stirrups...ladies, you know what's up. There's a drawer full of tools that go hand in hand with the sort of appointment that you would need those stirrups for. Russell found all of these things highly entertaining and I was so embarrassed for some reason. He. got. into. EVERYTHING. The biohazard trash can, almost knocked the lamp over, which I think also goes with the stirrups, he banged on the keyboard, he tried getting all of the instruments down off the counter, he unrolled the paper on the bed like a roll of toilet paper... I couldn't contain him for the life of me and we were in there for an HOUR AND A HALF. So after all that, I got to lay across him and pin his arms down while he got stuck 4 times. He cried so hard his nose started bleeding while we were in line to leave. SO even though he was super naughty, he got a milkshake....


Wylee capped off the evening by shoving a bead up her nose. Wednesday did, in fact, come to an end which I wasn't sure that it ever would. I can't even remember Thursday and Friday. I know Jared made it on and off of the school bus so that's all that really matters. Next up is Saturday...
I don't know whose bright idea it was to give the kids pie after lunch and then leave the table before they finished, but this is what happens when Russell is unattended at the table with Chocolate Creme Pie:
Sharing some pie with his best pal.

Smearing pie in his own hair. Two seconds later...

eating pie out of his own hair.

He's not crying, he's super excited and I caught him at the perfect moment.

Jared took him outside and hosed him off. I'm not sure why but Russell skipped a nap on Saturday but he had extra time to misbehave. He filled little Jared's cup up with ice and water and walked into the living room where I was laying on the ground playing with Wyatt and he DUMPED IT on my back. A little later on baby Jared started cracking up at the back door and in walked Russell BUTT NAKED. He decided to take his diaper off at the back door before he came inside. Most people just take their shoes off, but alright. Then I heard the bathroom water running which usually means he's making a big mess. Nope. He took his diaper off again and was sitting in the sink filling it up with water and hand soap. I took pictures but I won't be posting them :)

Ew I forgot, Friday WAS a big day for Russell. I dunno how this slipped my mind. 2:30 in the afternoon I decided to give the house a good vacuuming...2:45 in the afternoon I realized I hadn't seen Russell recently and Wylee was asleep (in timeout). I started in Wylee's room and he wasn't there, so I went to his room. Empty. My stomach drops and I feel a little sick, not cause I think something bad has happened to him, but I KNOW that he is up to no good. So as I'm headed towards my bedroom Russell comes running out with an Orange Sharpie marker, a new orange uni-brow and neck beard to match...along with some fancy orange arm hair. The knots have been validated and I am literally SCARED to walk into my own bedroom to see what else he colored on. I start at the computer desk where he has scribbled on the baby monitor and some paper...not as bad as I thought...but then I see the bathroom. This picture doesn't show the toilet or the whole bathtub but he tagged those, too. The bathtub was all around the edge and down into the tub. That little turkey scribbled on my newly painted bathroom wall!!!!! I panicked cause Jared was going to be home soon and our realtor was coming Saturday morning to look at the house so we can list it. I turned to trusty facebook where several people told me to use a dry erase marker, so that's what I did...not like I could make it much worse than it already was. I got it off of the toilet and bathtub completely and it dulled it on the wall. I ruined 4 dry erase markers in the process. Jared got home and asked me why I didn't just paint over it, lol, oh duh. I don't know.

Stinker.
As he watched me scrubbing the wall I told him he was a bad boy and deserved a spankin...so he called me a bad boy and actually did spank me. Saturday I found him admiring his art work and when he saw me he pointed his finger at me and called me a bad boy again and then spanked me on his way out the door.
Can't remember anything from Sunday. But on Monday he threw a handful of my jewelery into the toilet. Wouldn't have been THAT big of a deal if Wylee hadn't peed in it and forgot to flush. I didn't even want to wash it off...into the trash it went (Thanks for fishing it out Jared, haha). That brings us to today which hasn't been too exciting. He's just been jumping off the coffee table and climbing on things, the usual. Thank goodness cause I need a break from the naughtiness!


8.28.2012

I have a kindergartener...eek!

It's official. Jared is in KINDERGARTEN!!!! He started his very first day of school yesterday.
This is us in front of his school!

It's really strange without him here....Russell isn't as naughty. Russell and Wylee have actually been getting along pretty well, they were really nice to each other yesterday and they sort of behaved at the store. Most of you already read Wylee's quotes yesterday but the family members that haven't here they are:

When we dropped Jared off, Big Jared asked Wylee what she was going to do without Jared all day and she said, "I don't know...I'm really gonna miss Jared" (sad voice). It was so sweet.

While in the Sonic parking lot (imagine that) Wylee saw a schoolbus and yelled, "I see a school bus!!! I bet Jared is on that school bus!!!"

While leaving Wal-Mart Wylee saw a green VW Bug (Jared always yells slugbug bingo) so we took a picture of it to show Jared when he got home.

After leaving Costco Wylee asked me if they were good at the store. I said they were only a little bit good at Wal-Mart but they were really good at Costco. She started thinking really hard (she was making a "thinking really hard face") and then she told me "I'm sorry that we were so crazy at Wal-Mart, my head thought the cart was a playground....but I guess it wasn't" (said in a really sad voice).

After we got done running errands we had lunch and then Russell napped while Wylee and I watched Hello Kitty in my room. It was so relaxing!! Then When Russell woke up they worked on a welcome home sign for big brother.


This is our family. Russell is black, I'm red and I'm holding Wyatt, Jared is yellow, Big Jared is blue and Wylee is green. After I took this picture she added belly buttons to all of us. Jared tweaked it when he got home.

I was so excited to hear alllll about Jared's first day of school...and I had to drag every detail out of him. He made a friend at lunch but he can't remember his name, they went to the library, they sang 2 songs, he colored. He played on the playground with our neighbor Jace. And that was it. Magical. Today he decided to ride the bus to school, and he will ride it home as well!! I can't believe it. Kindergarten.




All those things I said that maybe Russell wouldn't do (while he looked so sweet sleeping next to me)...I was wrong, he did them, all of them. If I never have to clean wet toilet paper off of my walls again it will be a miracle. Saturday I had a candle burning in the bathroom while we had company over, Gunner blew the candle out and ran outside. Britanie found Russell on the counter, feet in the sink, wet of course and candle wax EVERYWHERE! Most of it is still there. I haven't come up with an easy way to clean it up yet. I scraped a lot of it off but its still pretty soft so it doesn't come up well and I don't want to scratch the counter up. He did lots of other little mischievous things last week but I was really bad about writing them down, and I can't rely on my brain to remember them. He's a stinker, end of story :)

8.16.2012

Boy: noise with dirt on it.

I saw this on pinterest last night and it was fitting for today's post.

Russell is straight up noise with dirt on him. He wore me out yesterday. Actually, all the kids did. We had a bonus kid Tuesday night and all day yesterday, Gunner had a sleepover with us. I think all 4 kids changed their clothes 3 times yesterday. I guess there's just something about a little mud in the yard that a kid can't resist, especially Russell.
While we were at dinner with Dallas, Britanie, and my mom last night I gathered some valuable intel from Gunner. The kids played outside almost all day yesterday (probably why they're still asleep at 7:30). They jumped on the trampoline, played in the water hose, even though I told them not to, they played on the swing set, they explored, they dug in the mud I assume....they were covered in it. They peed outside...Britanie had to stop Wylee from POOPING outside on the driveway...they were busy kids. Anyways, at dinner gunner tells me that Russell drank mud water. I said, "I'm not surprised" then I said, "Wait, where did he get the mud water?". Gunner tells me that Jared made the mud water for him, and then Jared pipes in and tells me that he ALSO caught some ANTS and put them in the water. Ants. So Jared had Russell drink muddy ant water. AND THEN I found out this morning that after he drank some they dumped it on his head. I don't know whether to call this payback or karma, or maybe its both. All I know is an ant can't be good for the belly. Britanie has a good feeling that if she hadn't stopped Wylee from pooping on the driveway that there is a good chance that would have come into play as well.
Wyatt woke me up at 6 for a bottle this morning and decided he wasn't going back to sleep. As I was making the bottle I thought to myself how Russell must have slept in his bed all night long. I laid back down and rolled over to pet Caine....and then I thought I was squishing Britches because there was some rustling behind my pillow....and I found this:

I had no idea he was in bed with me, could have been for an hour...maybe it was all night. No clue.
I actually love it when Russell climbs into bed with us. He is so sweet looking when he's asleep. So sweet that it gives me hope that maybe today he won't soak everyone with the hose while jump on the trampoline. Or maybe he won't cover his fingers with mud and then wipe it on some one's back. Maybe, just maybe, we can make it through the day without him pulling Wylee's hair, throwing wet toilet paper on the wall, pinching the baby or head butting Baby Jared. Dream big, right? Its ok...Russell will be Russell.

 Well we didn't fall asleep before him this Sunday, but he woke up before we did :/
Goof ball.

Hmm I got in trouble for doing this 5 minutes ago but maybe the second time will be different.

This is one of his favorite things to do....he clips it on his ears and his eyebrows too! Creeps me out.

I'm pretty sure he was about to take flight.

We told him to go pack a bag so he could go to New Mexico with Poppa...This is what he came back with.

8.08.2012

You're going to timeout for peeing on people.

Part of me can't believe that I even heard Jared say that last night, "You're going to timeout for peeing on people". But I did. Jared took Russell's diaper off to put a new one on and this is what I heard from the kitchen...
Jared: Quit grabbing yourself and come get a diaper on.
Baby Jared: Russell just peed on my leg!
Jared: No he didn't, Russell come here.
Baby Jared: Yes he did!
Jared: Oh gross, he did pee on your leg!

So off to the corner he goes...for peeing on people.

Wylee BEGGED me to take them to the "Chick-a-flay" play place this morning. Even though breakfast is the easiest meal of the day I caved and took them. I can easily be swayed by the thought of sitting at a table, just me and Wyatt, while those three are contained in a glass room. Thick glass I hope. Next time I won't sit right next to the glass though. Those little heathens pop up out of no where slapping their hands on the glass right in your face screaming like banshees. You almost forget the glass is there and start to panic for a split second...its even worse when it ISN'T one of your kids.
Wylee comes out and tells me she needs to go to the bathroom...now the fun starts, I was worried that our outing would be uneventful. She only has her socks on and is refusing to go get her tennis shoes but she's grabbing herself doing the potty dance. I'm fully prepared to just let her pee herself if she doesn't go get her stinking tennis shoes on. She goes in and the boys come FLYING out, headed straight for the bathroom. Jared has his flip flops on but Russell is carrying his and he just chunks them in front of the registers as he runs by. I have to think fast because Russell just ran into the women's restroom with NO shoes on!! So I put my 3.5 year old in charge of the 4 month old (smart, right?) and I run to the restroom grabbing the flip flops. I find Jared and Russell both in the big handicap stall, door wide open, Jared is peeing from about a foot away from the toilet and Russell is in the splash zone flushing the toilet over and over again. Not a proud mom moment. I get them squared away, Russell's shoes back on (not that it really matters at this point) and then get them back into the play room. I gather up my drink, my baby bag, and my baby and I take Wylee to the restroom. She is REFUSING to flush the toilet after she pees. The car seat is too big for me to fit in there and do it for her so I had to block her exit until she flushed. Really. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother getting out of the house. If Russell wasn't allergic to cats I'd probably just buy like 50 of them and stay cooped up all day long. They'd probably all just run away, anyways.
Okay, I've had enough...chick a flay is NOT fun anymore. I need a refill before we leave. You would think my kids could stand there for 2 minutes while I got another Diet Coke. I had to tell them to quit running their hands all over the fake trees, put the straws back, don't go into the bathroom, get in a line right here and DON'T MOVE...I said GET IN A LINE, NOW HOLD HANDS! The sweet girl getting my refill just laughed and told me how cute they are and waved bye to them. So we walk out the door and Russell DARTS....I lunged for him to do the mom grab (car seat in hand) and he stops right on the edge of the curb, good grief I thought my heart was going to explode. We're back to alllll holding hands again while Russell JUMPS the entire way back to the car. Everyone piles in...Russell decides to go straight back to the trunk and have a seat. Everyone is in, and buckled. Thank goodness. Russell makes some odd hand gesture that I have never seen before and all of the sudden the other two start chanting "yeah, yeah, yeah!!!!" and now I'm afraid that they have been plotting some sort of mission against me and Russell (the master mind) just gave everyone the go-ahead. Jared is saying over and over again "are we driving yet, are we driving yet". I'm talking for several minutes. Then Wylee starts chanting, "buckle your seat belt, buckle your seat belt" over and over again. I'm gonna lose it. Thank goodness for playgroup...Russell only made one little boy cry and long as his eye doesn't turn black then I'm gonna call it a good day. Seriously. I need a vacation.
He's paci free, but sometimes he finds one that was lost and falls off the wagon.
Wyatt needed some spoons I guess.
This kid LOVES  socks. Clean, dirty, church socks, normal socks, Wylee's socks, Jared's socks...doesn't matter. LOVES them.

8.06.2012

I guess I needed to mop anyways.

Last week was AWFUL around here. Jared's mom had Jared and Wylee in Houston from Saturday afternoon until Wednesday afternoon...so I had big plans to get a lot done around the house with just Russell and Wyatt. Instead, I woke up with full body aches and didn't feel right...by Sunday night I had a low grade fever and by Monday morning it was 102.8, needless to say I didn't get anything done last week. Jared took me to the doctor Monday...WITH Russell and Wyatt. Sitting in a doctor's office with Russell can make even a short amount of time feel like an eternity. Jared blew up a glove to make a balloon for him, which kept him busy for a couple of minutes. Then Russell found the reflex instrument, whatever that thing is called. I have a nice gash on my shin surrounded by a lovely bruise because Russell tried to check my reflexes with the wrong end of the thing...and in the wrong spot. Jared isn't a whole lot better to have at the doctor's office. He laid Russell on the doctor's chair and spun him around until he was so dizzy that he couldn't stand on his own. It's only funny once. So with a fever that wouldn't go away and then a nice little cough that came with it all my sewing plans were shot. I managed to finish one project last week....but I have 5 more to go.
Lots of Theraflu, and lots of Ibuprofen...it wasn't fun. Then Friday morning my sweet dog Penny passed away. I'm not gonna get into that story because it really doesn't matter and it hurts too much anyways...point is, it completely ruined my month.

My sweet Penny

Jared saw an ice cream truck driving down Blackland Rd last weekend so Big Jared had me get in the car and chase him down. He promised to make his way back to our street after he did the neighborhood that he was turning into. We waited for an hour and this is how the kids kept themselves busy...
A little group effort to free the plunger.

I'm sure when Ruth bought these shoes she intended on wearing them for the ice cream man...

So after my terrible week I am determined to make this one a good one! We started our Monday off with a trip to Wal-mart then followed by a trip to Sonic to reward myself for my trip to Wal-mart...then the bank and Walgreens. We got home and I put the groceries away and then went to my bedroom for a couple of minutes and came back to Russell sitting on the counter with the vegetable sprayer. He had completely soaked the counter tops, the trash can, the coffee table and flooded the kitchen floor all the way to the garage door. Thank you, Big Jared, for teaching him how the vegetable sprayer works. I haven't been able to find humor in this yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Right now Russell's face is covered in pizza sauce and he's grabbing his rear saying "poopoo" so I guess duty calls. Ha!

We took Russell to a wedding...

Our 1st mistake: Taking Russell to a wedding.
Our 2nd mistake: Taking Russell to a wedding DIRECTLY after driving from Houston. No stops, no dinner.

We sat in the back(ish) row, ignoring the "please do not skip seats sign", in case we needed to take Russell out. Jared had to take him out twice before it even started. We also didn't realize that there would only be desserts at the reception so we didn't stop to get him any dinner before. So Jared went out to the truck and filled up his shirt pocket with Wheat Thins and his pockets with fruit snacks, 5 packages I think.
After going through all of his crackers and all 5 packs of fruit snacks we moved on to a hair clip that was in my purse, then the IPad, then the lady in front of him offered him a notebook and a highlighter. We made it through (barely). So now it's time for the reception...
If you've never been to wedding/reception at Edison's in Dallas then I'll sort of describe the layout for you real fast. The area where they have the ceremony is separated from the reception area with several LARGE dividers.
Those things behind them are the dividers....
So as the wedding party is taking photos, we are trying to let Russell burn off some energy. He ended up pushing one of those things over and thank goodness some people jumped up and caught it before it landed on one of the tables. Sorry Miller and Janie!! I took him to the bathroom with me where he continuously flushed the toilet as I was using it and then threw an entire roll into the bowl while I was washing my hands.
Miller works with Jared so they had carpenter pencils on all the tables with their names on them (really cute), but Russell decided he was gonna scribble on the table cloth with them. He spilled a cup of water all over himself and the table as well. We tried really hard to wait long enough to say hi to the Bride and Groom. I took Russell out to the foyer and he laid on the ground while I spun him in circles and then drug him around (his idea, not mine). We took him outside and let him run. We walked him around the reception area...and then we gave up. It was close to 8:45ish and I was exhausted. Doesn't seem like he did a lot of damage until you consider the fact that we weren't even there for 2 hours. 
Here's a short list of things that I caught Russell doing lately:
  • Hiding naked in the laundry room
  • Emptying files from the filing cabinet
  • Pulling dvds out of the cabinet and shoving them into the Wii (again)
  • Dumping yogurt out on the kitchen floor
  • Hiding behind the curtains in his room at bed time (pretty cute actually)
We have a really crappy bedtime routine with Russell. It started 4 months ago when we brought Wyatt home, we're trying to correct it but its been tough. Last week I put him to bed about a dozen times and as I was loading the dishwasher I heard the bathroom sink turn on...Russell was sitting on the counter filling up Duplo blocks with soap and water. What in his little head makes him think, "I've been put to bed 12 times, but I think I'll get into the lego bucket and go play in the bathroom." It was 8:15! That means I had been putting him to bed for over an hour. Please don't give me any suggestions on how to keep him in his room. We have tried everything and eventually something will work. I put the doorknob protector things on there but he breaks them in half and brings me the pieces. He won't do this forever so for now I'm gonna do it my way.

He's lucky he's so cute!
Those are Russell's feet propped up on Wyatt...they were both asleep on me.
Turns out when the big kids are gone Russell devotes ALL of his time and energy to Wyatt. I think Wyatt is glad they are home again.

7.26.2012

You're doing great, Mom!

Russell broke my phone last night. One of the teeny tiny little prongs inside the part that the charger goes into broke off because he was trying to shove the charger in upside down. That phone lasted us a year, pretty good around here if you ask me. It's dead as a door nail. Baby Jared used to throw my phone in all kinds of water. Until he was 2.5 or 3 all I had were "Go-Phones". He threw it in the dog's water bowl, the bath tub, the kiddie pool, a puddle of rain water outside. Each time was a different phone. So since I can't post any real pictures of my tyrant here are a couple VERY fitting ones that were posted to my FB wall yesterday...I literally laughed out loud at these.
HA!! Thanks Aunt Ruth!

Thanks Amanda, this is hilarious!!

I've noticed that some people have been sharing the blog with their friends. I think this is great. Let all the moms of crazy tyrant boys unite, I'm not alone (lol)! As great as this is, I feel like I should make it clear that even though Russell (and the others) are crazy, I love them with all my heart and I wouldn't change a thing! Jessica (my awesome hairdresser, go see her at Bel Fiore in Rockwall) found a grey hair last time she gave me a style, but honestly I'm okay with it because I assumed I would have MANY more by now. I love each one of my babe's personalities. They are strong willed and that's okay because they are going to make it in life. I'm confident that they won't be pressured into things that easily. I'm grateful for my kids and I pray that they never feel diferently.

With that being said, a trip to the grocery store requires 2 shopping carts (1 to strap Russell into and set Wyatt's carseat in, and 1 for all the food), a Midol, and an energy drink. The recovery from said trip consists of a trip to Sonic for a Rt 44 Diet Coke. True story.

 Here's a big THANK  YOU to the random mom that kept cheering me on this Monday as we crossed paths down every aisle, and all but high-fived me as we exited Wal-Mart. "You're doing great, you're almost done, keep smiling, your babies are beautiful, it'll get easier" People like her make my MONTH. Reminds me of this story that was floating around a while back...it's a must read for every parent, absolutely hilarious. And here's a big ol BITE ME to the lady that felt the need to come up and tell Jared "Thank you for being such a good father" because he got on to Russell for biting his Grammy at the dinner table (at El Fenix). He IS a great dad, but come on. This happens a lot. We'll be in public with all 4 kids and women are ALWAYS praising Jared for being out with all 4 kids. HELLO....I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE NEXT TO HIM! He isn't alone!!!! And heck yeah he better take us all out in public every once in a while. Geeze, I'm climbing the walls over here.
*Russell just dumped his cereal out on the couch*

Is there a Blue Bellaholics Annonymous? Cause at 8:00 pm when I crawl into bed, you won't find a glass or wine or a stiff drink in this Mormon's hand. You'll find a hefty serving of Blue Bell. My drug of choice. Probably counteracting the insanity dvds. I just want to take another second to thank Elle for not picking THIS November to get married...I'll be looking awesome in my bridesmaid dress NEXT November. It's not just me either, after El Fenix last Friday we went to Firewheel to buy me a new pair of work out shoes and then hit up Wal-Mart because Jared was concerned that there might not be enough ice cream in the freezer for BOTH of us.
*Russell is jumping off of the coffee table*
*Russell is swinging a mop handle around*
*Russell is dumping out the dog food*
He's busy this morning.
*Russell just knocked over the basket of folded laundry*
Maybe I should blog at night while he's asleep....
Monday Jared got to have lunch here at the house. The kids wanted macaroni and cheese and hot dogs so Jared went outside to grill them for us. He ran in and told me to go handle Russell so I walked outside and Russell was chasing him away from the grill with the water hose!!! This picture isn't from that day but its the same scene, different outfit!
Little stinker.
Since I can't post pictures from yesterday, here a couple from last week. I hope you all have a great Thursday!! Hug your babies and your hubbys (or wifeys)!!
Russell eating his birthday breakfast. "Here's your drink Russell, DON'T squeeze it!" Ha! He sqeezed it.
Russell got into the baby powder again, this was right after he smeared the baby lotion all over the toilet seat.
*Russell is now contained in the rocking chair right next to me :)*

7.25.2012

Please don't call CPS.

I tried really hard catch Russell in the act with my camera as many times as I could yesterday.
I caught him...
Feeding his breakfast to Penny.
In the Wyatt's cradle.
Playing on my laptop and then trying to hide when I walked into the room.
Shorts on his head, this is his signature move.
Basket on his head.
On the counter, sink on, having a cookie.
In the toy baby crib.
In the baby's swing.
Getting BACK into the toy baby crib.
Put these boots on about 15 times.
Broke the little thing of the blinds so he could walk around swinging it at people.
AND....while I typed that out, he pushed a chair over to the counter and got another cookie and got into the candy jar.

Russell is a biter. Yesterday he bit my arm twice, my hand once and my BUTT. My eye has developed a twitch recently but only when Russell is being Russell....and when Jared gets home from work. Coincidence? Not a chance.
Russell did lots of things that I didn't take pictures of as well. At one point he came running out of my bed room naked so I ran him to the potty, he peed and then I diapered him and put his shirt back on. I sat him on the couch and went to my bathroom to get his shorts. In that 3 seconds he climbed up onto the counter and stole my Diet Coke. That's just what we need...Russell Owen on caffeine! I went to go check on the baby, came back to the living room and Russell has taken his shorts off again and just knocked the trashcan over. Caught him shoving 2 cds into the Wii....no wonder that thing makes a growling noise when we try to play it.
Jared went home with his Uncle Dallas and Aunt Britanie yesterday afternoon so Wylee and Russell played together. They were playing in the toy kitchen so Russell grabbed a plastic spoon out of the real kitchen to eat his fake bread with. I found him gagging himself with it until his eyes were red and watery, and laughing every time he did it. Nice.
*Ok, while typing that out Russell brought me his diaper full of poop, with poop on his hand.*
He also ran into the living room with Jared's belt and hit me with it...over and over again, I couldn't get away from him.
And to finish the day off I found him in the hallway in nothing but a diaper scrubbing the floor with the toilet bowl brush...and it was wet.
So there you have it. That was a fraction of the excitement that takes place on a daily basis around here. Obviously I couldn't catch everything that he did yesterday. I need a nanny.
Anyone else think my 3.5 year old is a little too big for an excersaucer?

And just so you don't think my other kids are angels, here's a bonus story. We went to Wal-Mart last Monday like always and as I was checking out the old woman that was ringing my stuff up looked at me with a HORRIFIC look on her face like she was about to cry and frantically told me that Wylee had just woken the baby up by pinching his nose shut. It'll be a long time before I forget the look on that woman's face. All I could really do was turn around and say "Wylee, don't touch the baby and DON'T pinch his nose shut!" But what I wanted to say was, "Look lady, if that's the worst thing that happens to Wyatt today then I'm gonna consider it a good day. This cute little teddy bear that you've been waving to for the last 5 minutes has colored that baby's eyelids with markers, stuck a quarter in his mouth, slapped and bit him more times than I can count, and sat on him. Please don't call CPS."
On that note....I hope you all have a good hump day :)