Naughty List Warning

  I'm struggling with Santa right now. My kids KNOW that we celebrate Christmas because it's Jesus' birthday. They also know that Santa is just a fun bonus. They know that if they were ever to be so bad that Santa skips our house that Christmas would still go on because it's not about Santa. My problem is that, for the first time, they really have been so bad for me that if I didn't love them so much, Santa would skip us. I don't want to see their disappointed little faces when they wake up and run downstairs.
  Most of you that know my kids are probably thinking that I'm exaggerating right now, except for Leslie...she knows better. My kids are usually great for other people. I know I did something right when it comes to how they behave for EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET. Jared only moved his pin twice in kindergarten and has so far only snipped an E once in first grade, I'm so proud of him! I guess the specifics really aren't what my post is about.....I'm not writing this so that I can throw my kids under the bus and have you all think poorly of them. It's just a season that we're in.
  My problem is this: do I teach them a hard lesson that I never had to learn or do I carry on as if they had been little angels? I purchased a really cute "Naughty List Warning" the other morning that I had planned on filling out for each child. In the middle of filling out Baby Jared's I started to feel bad about it. I don't know why....I think mainly because there is a line for "naughty behavior witnessed by..." and I put "Trigger the Elf" (that's our Elf on the Shelf's name). I felt bad for our fake stuffed elf on the shelf. Why should he be blamed if they get reindeer crap in their stockings even though Im pretty sure that's the main reason behind the Elf on the Shelf. Last year the concept was fun because the kids wanted to be really good for him. This year they just think his stunts are funny and who gives a hoot if he catches them being bad. So........what do I do? As of Tuesday my plan was to have Santa bring them all warm winter clothes and ONE toy from their list. That still seems ok to me. I don't want them to think that their actions can be threatened with Santa skipping our house but come Christmas morning Santa has spoiled them rotten anyways so what was the point of spewing the "SANTA IS WAAATTTCCCHHHHING YOOOOUUUU" line (while I'm literally on the verge of an emotional and mental breakdown).

  1) Do I risk hurting their feelings and give them all their naughty list warnings? (Trigger will be removed from the witness line)

  2) Does Santa stick to his one toy plan or just bring clothes?

  I would love your input, maybe advice from the more seasoned mothers out there that have dealt with the naughty child during the month of December issue.

  What I would NOT LOVE is your advice on how to discipline my babies.  Everyone is so different when it comes to THAT subject, so I'd rather just steer clear of it :)

I'm not just a mom, you know...

Well, I'm not. I am, but I'm not. It would be safe to say that "it's complicated". I'm a stay at home mom that also sells Scentsy, AdvoCare, and co-owns an online boutique with her best friend. Interestingly enough, it's called Just Two Girls' Boutique. We decided on that name because back in January we did a fundraiser for an old classmate of ours. We had gotten to know his wife a little bit recently and when he was critically injured in a car accident I felt like I needed to help in some way. Our fundraiser turned into a huge event and as people were pulling us in all different directions to decide on this or take care of that I simply reminded people that we were "just two girls". We didn't know what we were doing, we didn't know what proper fundraising protocol was, we didn't know anything other than we wanted to help. We were, and still are, just two girls. And I am just one girl, a mom, with a little extra on my plate. Most days I get up and take the dogs outside, start little Jared's shower, go wake him up, get him in the bathroom and then I go downstairs to make his lunch and get him some breakfast. I make myself some Spark and I grab my iPad. My second alarm for the day goes off and I walk him to the end of our driveway and we wait for the bus...send him off and head back inside. Usually 2 of the others wake up right after I walk in, so we watch cartoons and wait for the 3rd to wake up. Then its breakfast and chocolate milk and I check a few emails, check my texts that Leslie sent me over night. She works late at night, sends me the orders that I need to work on and I work during the morning or day, whenever I can fit it in. I do a little Facebook stalking, change a diaper or two and go about the rest of my day. A lot of times I forget that I'm only one person. I can't do everything, and I don't HAVE to do everything. I don't have to sell AdvoCare or Scentsy, and I don't have to sew for money. But I do. I'm not the top in sales, not even close. It would be nice, but then again, lots of things would be nice. I should probably give something up, that or learn to cut myself some slack. It's not easy for me to just not do something because it would be easier to not do it. For example, grocery shopping. If I wanted to, I could ask Jared to watch the kids and just go by myself on Saturday mornings. But that would just be too easy now wouldn't it? If I did that then there goes 2 hours of our weekend time together, or I would be giving up the one morning that I don't wake up to an alarm. So instead I choose to endure the mental and emotional beating of taking Wylee, Russell, and Wyatt to Wal-Mart first thing on Monday mornings. 6 times out of 10 I end up crying at some point during our trip. Every SINGLE time as I am loading them into the car I tell them that they are NEVER EVER EVER GOING SHOPPING WITH MOMMY AGAIN! EEVVVEEERRRR!!!! Until the following Monday, and we repeat it all again. Every Monday I swear that I'm going to start grocery shopping in the middle of the night or at the crack of dawn on Saturdays. That never happens though. It probably never will. Every day I follow the kids around asking them to 'pick this up' and to 'put that away'...most of the time they don't do it and after asking 10 times I do it myself because I CAN'T STAND for stuff to just be laying all over the place. I hate it. I hate it more than I hate grocery shopping with the kids. I hate my kitchen floor because even if I mopped it every day it would still look like a pack of elephants just muddied up their giant feet and trampled all over the place. I hate doing laundry. I hate doing dishes. I don't mind vacuuming except that our vacuum is broken right now so I've been trying to vacuum the house with a tiny bissel that we bought for the camper. So, yeah, that sucks. I hate clutter yet you will not find a single room in my house that is without it. This house is pure chaos, I just try to keep it nice and organized and tidy. Tidy chaos. I rush around the house when I know that Jared is about 30 minutes from being home. I put away everything that the kids wouldn't, and load the dishwasher with the things that are left in the sink. I do my best to have the house clean and smelling good when he walks through the door. I like to have dinner ready either when he gets home or shortly after. I'm so disappointed in myself on the days that the house is crazy, the sink is full, and dinner isn't even thawed out yet. Here's how things have been going lately... *The sink is usually full of dishes. *I'm STILL in pjs when Jared gets home. *The kids are STILL in pjs when Jared gets home. *You can find a diaper that didn't make it to the trash in at least 3 out of the 4 bedrooms, with a few more throughout the house. *You can find a sippy cup with yesterday's milk in it under at least one of the couches. *I let the kids accidentally break something because I wasn't paying close enough attention. *Guess what Babe? We're having cereal and milk for dinner again...but not a lot of milk, because we're almost out and I need enough to put Wyatt to bed with. *That load of laundry that's in the dryer...it sat in the washer for 2 days and I rinsed it 4 separate times but it still smells a little bit like crap. But, hey, I dug that BoxTop out of the trash that you threw away! After all, its worth like 15 cents. *Don't worry about that dirty diaper smell in the playroom, the dogs found one of the diapers that didn't make it to the trash can so they shredded it in there. I cleaned it up though. Remind me if I get pink eye, it was probably from that. This week, however, I am on day 4 of wearing REAL clothes and Make-up and my hair looks pretty decent! Monday morning we decided to go have lunch with Jared in Paris, he asked what made us decide to do that and I said, "Well, we all had real clothes on..." We laughed. And I died a little inside. We all had real clothes on. A Gold Star kind of moment if there ever was one. I try to keep it pretty real on Facebook. I don't make my life out to be some giant rainbows and unicorn fest over here. It's not. I make jokes about the fact that Wyatt is butt naked outside waiving to the cars that pass and Russell is elbow deep in potting soil. Jared and Wylee are fighting over something, or everything, and I'm about to pull my own hair out. MOST of it is pretty funny if you can just let yourself laugh about it instead of cry. Should Wyatt be naked outside? No. Before I take him in to diaper him I'm gonna watch him run 5 steps and then stop to make sure everything is still there, and then run 5 more steps and check again...cause its funny. I don't want people to think that my house runs like a well oiled machine and that if you drop by unannounced I will be wearing my best pearls (if I had any), the kids would be treating each other kindly while they play in the playroom and there will be a freshly baked, homemade, apple pie cooling in the kitchen window. Most of the time when Jared walks through the door I don't run and give him a kiss on the cheek with my heel kicked up. I'm usually borderline mental by the time he gets home. He would argue that borderline is being nice. I survived another day though! There's a plus. I have so much to do, so many mouths to cook for, so many headbands that need sewing or hats that need embellishing. I have orders to place and people waiting for me to bring their stuff to them. I have piles of clothes to wash and fold and beds to make and dishes to clean or to put away. Each room holds a different mess, just WAITING for me to tend to them. I have too much going on. I can admit that. What I can't get past is the fact that there are plenty of people who have way more going on and they still manage to do it all. There is no room for slacking, no matter what. Why should I be any different from those people? I have some AMAZING nieces and nephews, but you know what? I ALWAYS forget to send birthday cards and I never call. I hate myself for that, and I try to change it and I slack again. Sometimes (a lot of the time) I don't answer phone calls because there is so much going on at that moment that I just can't add a conversation to my plate. Text me. I can usually handle a text message. I have over 300 unopened emails because I can't check them fast enough. I have unopened Facebook messages because I was too busy to read them and now they have been pushed so far down the line that I don't even know where they are and I don't have time to sit and scroll through them all. I don't listen to my voice mails. Ever. I have some sitting on my phone that have been there since February. What was the point of this blog post? Maybe I'm afraid that people give me too much credit sometimes... they need to know that I'm just a whack job of a mother with some whack job children that are lucky they are cute and a total whack job of a husband. Or MAYBE my fingers typed this so that I would read over it and see that I usually have stuff under control. Lately, I've been tired. Trying to do too many different things will do that to a person. I can figure out a balance...I can. My kids and husband deserve the best, and even though I'm just one person I CAN figure out how to do it all and do it all with a SMILE on my face (and my best pearls on). First, I need some pearls...

The first 48 hours.

This house is AHHHMAZING. The first few days went a little bit like this....

we started moving in around 4:30 Friday afternoon, finished on Saturday. I spent all day Saturday unpacking boxes in the kitchen and the other things we would need right away. I put on a big pot of water so I could make macaroni and cheese for lunch....and half an hour later the water isn't even at a full boil, on high. So we discover that the stove isn't up to par. The oven doesn't work and the microwave is the one I used in college. Everything has to be cooked twice as long in it and its small. Less than 24 hours in the new home and I discover orange highlighter graffiti on one of the built in toy boxes in the kids room. I know who did it. I called Wylee upstairs and into the room and asked her what happened. She sat sown on the box, shrugged her shoulders and said I don't know what happened. So I asked who colored on the toy box, she said "uhhhhh I don't knowwww, (touches her finger to her chin like she's thinking) I think maybe Russell did it." So I said, "oh really? Russell knows how to write your name now?" She smiled, shrugged her shoulders again and said "I guess so!". What a little fibber.
36 hours after the big move and Russell comes in our bed at about 6:30 am and asks for water. I thought I gave him some, he started coughing a bunch then made a nasty sound. Jared asked if he just threw up and I said no I gave him water and it just went down the wrong pipe....wait a second. I didn't give him any water in real life, I dreamed that, and that coughing was barfing. After breakfast Baby Jared was laying on the bathroom floor and Wylee was laying on the playroom floor saying "I feel weird"....and by 8:30 all 3 of them were lined up on the couch with barf bowls and towels and a giant blanket covering the carpet in front of them JUST IN CASE. Baby Jared took a little nap, woke up, stood up, stretched and gagged so I said Jared if you're gonna puke grab your bowl! He said he wasn't going to then gagged again. i yelled "grabbed your bowl, GRAB YOUR BOWL!!" but really, who needs a bowl when you can just puke on the floor? Don't worry, he felt a LOT better after that. Everyone seemed fine by noonish. Hallelujah. By Monday we were already locked out of one of the bathrooms (still are). Tuesday we woke up with 3 dogs and went to sleep with none. I don't want to talk about it so don't ask but if you know us then you know that our dogs are family members. Wednesday morning I woke up and found out about an hour later that my sweet Papa had finally gone to be with the Lord. He left behind a family that will miss him dearly and that will ache for his presence for many many years to come. I spent the day at Mimi and Papa's house with my parents and my aunt, my brother and his family, my cousins and my Mimi. I didn't want to leave but I needed to get home to Jared and try to sleep. I was good the whole way home, and while I did some laundry and got the kids to bed. I was good while I straightened the house and changed clothes. I was fine while we watched tv until there was a funeral on Chicago Fire and I realized that it hadn't hit me yet. It hit me, sort of, at that moment. I cried for a little bit and was able to stop pretty quickly...I know Saturday will be a challenge but I'm more worried about Sunday. Our first Easter without Papa. It'll be hard on all of us. Wait, Easter...oh no, I hadn't bought stuff to put in the kids baskets. They're already concerned that the EB won't know where we live. I loaded everyone up and we were out the door at 7 this morning, we dropped Jared off at school, got gas, and headed into Walmart. I grabbed one of those reusable bags and started distracting Wylee by pointing at things while I stuffed things into that bag behind her back. I'm not sure what all I bought but I think there are some wind up animals, some chocolate bunnies, more candy than we needed, fake grass, and some more junk, I hope! I was about to check out and I decided I would look and see if they had ANYTHING that I could wear to the funeral Saturday. Russell wanted to walk so I let him. That was my first mistake. Turned my back for ONE second and as I turned back around I watched the entire cart, groceries and WYATT, and all fall to the ground on top of Wylee and Russell who are now underneath a clothing rack. 5 associates came out of nowhere, litterally, they just appeared. I knew the kids were fine cause I watched it happen. No one hit their head and blood wasn't squirting out from any limbs so my initial reaction wasn't sympathetic, it was annoyed and frustrated and I MAY have said something like "REALLY?!?!?! REALLY YOU GUYS?!?!?!? THIS IS RIDICULOUS. Yall know better! What were you thinking?!" Cue the bad looks from the associates who don't believe me when I tell them that they are fine and that they are only crying cause they're scared. No really, they were fine. They may have seen all the Easter stuff since it all went flying out of the bag. I'm not sure. I'm hoping they were too stunned to notice. Slap all that crap back in the cart and make a beeline for the checkout counter cause I am DONE. How annoying. I wanna go home. Instead let's head to Target! I need something for Saturday and if I don't do it now while we're out then I'll regret it. i found something and was surprised to find out it was on sale when I was checking out. Now we really can go home. I was thinking "man I really want a sonic diet coke but I'm not really near one...well there's one on 276 but that's not on the way home....oh crap it IS on the way home, I'm driving to the OLD house!" I barely made the exit. Got a Diet Coke. Mom told me that Walmart called and said I was banned after my little incident, which I actually believed and got nervous for a minute. Thanks mom. Got home, got inside, and started my period (the piece of crap cherry on top of my piece of crap week). The end. am

Mama's Trifecta.

Moneyball. In this order...BASEBALL, MATH, and BRAD PITT. Why have I not seen this movie sooner?! A lot of you may not know that I was a math major at Sam Houston. I have loved math more than English for as long as I can remember. Math has a definite answer (for the most part) while English or Literature can have several different right answers, which I hate. I was studying to become a high school math teacher. I wanted to make a difference in the world of high school math. I wanted to teach algebra. I guess that could still happen, time will tell! I also have a STRONG love for America's favorite past time. My daddy coached high school baseball for as long as I can remember. I would lay on the floor in my apartment in Huntsville and listen to his games over the Internet. I was devastated when he announced his retirement. I guess a part of me thought he would coach till the day he died (except he's my daddy and he'll live forever) and maybe in a perfect world he would coach one or all of my boys someday, should they play. Billy Beane is right, "It's hard not to be romantic about baseball." It is. It makes me nostalgic...and for my anxiety ridden soul, nostalgia is a terrible thing. It gives me a knot in the pit of my stomach and it makes me ache for the past. I hate that. As I said before, I really hate change. I think about my dad's last ball game more often than I should. I couldn't help but cry after the last out...most people couldn't. This game was for the high school State Championship. How amazing would that have been for him to go out with his first State Championship. They played a great game, but it wasn't in the cards. Cue the anxiety. Moneyball brought back a flood of emotion and nostalgic related anxiety, but I couldn't stop watching. It was a great movie and on top of it all I ate a big bowl of chocolate popcorn (thanks for that trick Ruth) while I watched it.
Enough about that. How about the fact we'll be moved out of our house before our milk expires. I'm gonna have an ulcer before this month is over. I hope the Easter Bunny doesn't forget to fill the baskets this year. Wouldn't that be tragic?
Speaking of tragic...I think Russell has inherited his mama's homesickness. I reallllly hope not, because there is nothing fun about wanting nothing more than your mama and daddy! I should know, right Mimi? I didn't make through Brownie Camp in 3rd grade, I barely slept at friends' houses without crying and going home early, poor Mimi and Papa had to put up with me crying my eyes out every single night that I slept at their house, I cried the entire 3.5 hour drive to COLLEGE and begged my daddy to let me just stay home. So you see, he gets it honestly! I dropped Jared, Wylee, and Russell off at my mom and dad's Tuesday afternoon for a sleepover with Grammy and Papa! Got a text around 2:35 saying Russell had been crying for over an hour and just wanted me. No problem, I'm on my way. I knew exactly how he was feeling. I got him home a little after 3am, put him in my bed and I laid down. Then Millie needed to go outside, so I got back out of bed and took her out....then laid down again. I finally fell asleep and I hear CHIRP! CHIRP! It's the stupid smoke detector. I woke Jared up and told him to go make it stop. He got up and went to the living room but it had quit chirping. So he laid back down. CHIRP.....CHIRP! UGGGGHHHH. I got out of bed and went into the living room to see which one it was. It quit. I waited. Nothing. Went back to bed, closed my eyes and, whatdoyaknow....CHIRP! This little cycle repeated about 5 times. Never could figure out which one it was, there are two in the living room, one in the hall, and then one in each bedroom. I incorporated the chirping into my dreams and sent Jared a text around 6 something that said OMG PLEASE MAKE THE BEEPING STOP!!!!!! It finally just quit at like 7am. I was exhausted yesterday. Went to sleep at 10:45 and Wyatt woke up for a bottle at 10:55. Except he didn't want the bottle, he wanted to stay up and cry and toss and turn, so I rocked him, I paced the house with him, I gave him ear drops, I sang to him, I let him cry it out. I rocked him some more. I tried everything. He kept refusing to eat his bottle and then finally at 12:15 he took his bottle and closed his poor eyes. PHEW. I climbed in bed, and then woke up to take Millie out, and then woke up 2 more times to feed Wyatt and change him. And at 5am CHIRP! CHIRP! You have got to be kidding me. I got up and this time it didn't quit, I track it to the kids' room, climb up on the top bunk and pull that thing down and yank out the battery. Biggest mistake ever. I always assumed that those things just ran on batteries. They don't, the batteries are really just back up. AND if you take the battery out it just sets the #$*& thing off! AND when that happens it triggers all of the other ones in the house! So, if you take the battery out at 5:30 am while all the babies are sleeping you better prepare yourself for a symphony of smoke detector chirps. Which may or may not make you cuss, depending on the strength of your filter (I need to strengthen mine). So I frantically hooked it back up to the ceiling thingy, every time I screwed it up the whole house would start beeping. I finally got it back on the ceiling, climbed off the top bunk and walked back to bed. CHIRP. No, no no no no no. But yes. So here I sit, at 9:26am listening to the smoke detector beep every several minutes. Its beyond annoying. Apparently I have to unplug it. I dunno. With that being said, I need a Spark (I'm out), or a Diet Coke to get me through today and I will praying for a better nights sleep tonight because as the move approaches, I know they are limited.

Nails by Russell.

I have 3 boys and ONE girl. Just one. She wants her nails painted just about every other day so that's what she gets! The only problem is Russell watches and everytime he sits down next to her and sticks his finger out and asks me to paint his nails too. Wylee and I tell him everytime that boys don't paint their nails....well, some boys do, but that's a different story that I'm not prepared to get into with a 4 and 2 year old. Words you never want to hear come out of someone's mouth, "unlock the door Russell, what are doing" followed by, "what's that smell?". Then followed by, "ELAINE! Come look at your son!" What's that smell? Not poop. Fingernail polish. Although, I must admit, I thought he had found the king size sharpie that I've been marking boxes with when I first walked in. Nope, he was just painting his nails, and half of his finger. Gave him a once over, then looked around and PHEW, its only on his finger. And a little on his chin. I call that a win! Hooray for the parents!
Speaking of those other kids that I have, I loaded up Wylee, Russell, and Wyatt last Thursday and we went to Jared's elementary school for the Kindergarten Stick Horse Rodeo. Oh. My. Cute. All the kids got to make their own stick horses and they did 6 events. Several of the moms couldn't make it so I thought I would try to video as much as I could and take as many pictures as I could of all of our kids. I had the Nikon with the zoom lens hanging around my neck, the video camera strapped to my hand, a foot on Wyatt's stroller so that Russell couldn't push him around, and of course an eye on Russell. Wylee never goes very far. It makes her nervous. At one point I was even taking pictures WHILE video tapping. BAM! About 3 stations in all I heard from Wylee's mouth was "I want bubble guuuummmmm, wwwaaahhhhh, give me some bubble gum, where's the gum, I want ggguuuummmmmmmmmmm, you have gum I want some too! That's not fair, give me gum please" I told her 50 times she had to wait cause the gum was at home. "But you got gum, I want some too, why didn't you bring any...you should have brought some" FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD I WISH I WOULD HAVE JUST STUCK THE PACK OF GUM IN MY BAG! WHY DIDN'T I BRING THE GUM?! SHE JUST WANTED THE BUBBLE GUM, I'M THE WORST MOM EVER! PLAY IT COOL ELAINE, THERE ARE A LOT OF OTHER PARENTS AROUND....JUST SMILE AND KEEP TAKING PICTURES, DON'T FORGET TO VIDEO JAMESON, ITS ALMOST HIS TURN, THEN POINT THE CAMERA THAT WAY CAUSE JARED IS RIGHT AFTER HIM AND HADLEY GOES AFTER JARED...HIT THE STOP BUTTON AND WAIT FOR 2 MINUTES, TURN IT BACK ON HERE COMES KATELYN, SHAKE WYLEE OFF MY ARM AND TELL HER NICELY THAT BUBBLE GUM HASN'T MAGICALLY APPEARED IN MY BAG. GRAB THE STROLLER, RUSSELL'S PUSHING WYATT IN THE DIRECTION OF THE HORSE SHOE PIT...NOW RUSSELL'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HORSE SHOE PIT. GOOD GRIEF IS THIS THING OVER YET?!?!?! LAST STATION AND THEY'RE MINING FOR GOLD. Wow. Wyatt's screaming, Wylee is screaming and Russell is crying. I might cry. Let's go home...and have some bubble gum.

Salon de Russell.

I caught myself crossing my legs and kicking a leg up as I sneezed this afternoon...ah childbirth. I can't help but blame ol Eve for nearly peeing myself every time I sneeze. If only she hadn't taken a bite of that fruit. I don't care how desirable or how sweet to the taste it is, its not worth sneeze-peeing!
Speaking of motherhood...I 100% without a doubt regret taking Russell with me to get Wylee's hair cut this morning...for many reasons. He wouldn't quit picking up the fingernail polish bottles, twisting Wylee's chair, touching every thing I told him not to touch, etc. He really wanted to sit in the Police car chair, but it was in the other room so I was walking back and forth between rooms to check on Wylee but keep an eye on him. Wylee got so shy with the stylist that she wouldn't tilt her head, she wouldn't look up, down, straight, didn't matter. She wouldn't do it. So I asked for this super cute little bob cut and got a jacked up uneven mess. It's hopefully getting fixed tomorrow....although Russell may have made Jessica's job a little harder this evening. I guess he either needs to be in a straight jacket while I do the chores around the house or I need to put him on a leash and make him walk with me everywhere I go, or we need a maid...or a live in Russell Nanny.

I told everyone to get pjs on, and Wylee stuck her leg through the arm hole and her other leg through a leg hole and couldnt figure out what was going on so she asked me for help. Then she asked me take her shirt off and I noticed hair all over her shoulder. I thought maybe it came out of a brush or something so I asked her where all that hair was coming from and she said,

"Oh, Russell gived me a hair cut."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LUCKILY, its more underneath a layer of hair, but if she swings her head just right you can see it clear as day. There was hair on the floor, the rug, and in the bathtub. I have made it 5.5 years without a single child giving themselves or a sibling (or cousin or friend or parent or grandparent for that matter) a home hair cut. I guess that was a pretty good run and I should be happy. Wylee's hair was a disaster already but now its got a touch of Russell added to it. I could scream. Sometimes life is not fair. Like Monday when Russell was yelling poopoo in the hallway but he was really pointing to was the tube of Butt Paste that he squirted all over the bathroom floor and rug...along with the baby lotion. I just shut the door and went to the grocery store. Sometimes that's all I can really do. Walk away from it for a bit and then come back and clean it up later. Pfffftttt. Thanks Russell.

Breakfast of inmates.

It's only 9:40 a.m. and Russell Owen is already covered in marker, baby powder, and chocolate cupcake.
  I forgot to buy milk and juice at the store so for breakfast the kids had water and dry cereal in a cup (breakfast of inmates I suppose)....which Russell decided to walk around the living room tilting his cup to and fro so that it spilled. Everywhere (the cereal, not the water). It was no accident either. Another reason I LOVE having dogs. What I don't love is Russell emptying my giant can of hairspray onto the bathroom mirror....that took some elbow grease to clean up! And plus now I'm out of hairspray, and almost paper towels. This kid wears me out. I wonder how his kids will be...
  I wish my birthday were coming up cause I would love  a day to relax all by myself. I would take a nap, maybe 2. Watch some DVR shows instead of Disney Jr. Ahhh. Come on August!  A girl can dream can't she? Maybe that's what my days will consist of when Wyatt starts school. After all, stay at home moms sit around in their fluffy robes eating bonbons watching Days of Our Lives with their feet propped up on the coffee table, right? I mean that's all I've done so far today. Except substitute fluffy robe for pjs, bonbons for previously mentioned dry cereal left over from the kids' cups, soaps for freaking Dora the Explorer and its a bit hard to prop my feet on the coffee table when Russell has pushed it about 8 ft from its designated spot so its sideways in the middle if the living room. I guess this is a good place to stop....considering Russell pushed Wyatt's walker into my bedroom and locked the door. Wyatt is IN the walker so I should go pick the lock. Happy Friday? Yes.