Confessions

What a morning, actually what a week/month! It's been an emotional rollercoaster around here....for me anyways. I have a grandpa in the hospital and a grandma that was just moved out of the hospital, keep them both in your prayers if you think about it. Our house SOLD. What a blessing, and a curse. I'm happy and devastated at the same time. I. Can't. Walk. Away. From. This. House. I can't. But I have to...and not many people will understand the pain that this move will cause me because not many people are so attached to things like I am. Confession time:
  My name is Elaine, I'm 28 years old, have 4 kids of my very own.... and I still sleep with my baby blanket. Every night. I took it to the hospital with me when I had my first 3 babies. I left it at home with the 4th because I'm afraid its going to fall apart. This fact gets me made fun of, by my entire family...even my daddy who gets me more than anyone in the whole world (sorry mom).
   Growing up I would rearrange my room and then sleep on the couch because the change gave me anxiety. Eventually I liked it but it took time. Don't get me started on redecorating.
   This house is special, the memories will go with me and I know that but I don't care. My neighbors won't come with me, no matter how much I beg. It's not like I can bring 2 of my favorite dogs to the house...their home is permanent in THIS back yard. I know new memories will be made, and unfortunately dogs will be burried in the new back yard. Kinda morbid? Little bit. Oh well. It doesn't really matter because I know without a doubt that the new house is where we belong.
  We had our house on the market for 4 months, but it didn't sell until this month, while it was off the market. Heavenly Father knew what we needed and his timing is all that matters. We found the perfect house for us. I wasn't thrilled but agreed to put an offer in. Three bids were put in on the same day and we didn't get the house. That's when I realized I wanted it and felt like we really belonged there. We submitted a back up offer just in case the other deal didn't work out. I knew that Heavenly Father intended on us having that house, then we would have it. If not then it just wasn't meant to be. We looked at a few more homes that were nice but they didn't feel right. We got a call on the last day of their option period saying the deal didn't go through and we got the house. We belong there. It's still sad though...
  Back to this morning, in the middle of a sewing project I asked Russell to go grab my phone. He slapped it down on the bench next to me anddddd cracked my screen. Uuuggghhhh. 4 big ol cracks. Dang. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner to be honest. So I sent Wylee and Russell to go play in their room. Wylee came back in upset because Russell wouldn't let her hind the Buzz Lightyear robot so he could go to pretend work. I heard Russell crying but that's not out of the ordinary. I kept sewing. Russell came in the kitchen still crying and I looked over at him and he had.blood all over his shirt, pants, hands, face, and a puddle on the floor. Crrraaapppp. I couldn't even tell where all it was coming from, just his nose and lip. Wylee admitted that she smashed him in the face with the Buzz robot...I went to get another rag and notice blood all over the wall in the hallway too. I'm still not sure how it got on the wall. Either way, I cleaned him up got his nose to quit bleeding and changed his clothes then went back to my sewing. 8 inches left on the top stitch and I ran out of red thread. It's for a birthday party TODAY. Last minute idea. Argh. Now I will show up empty handed with an iou for a one year old...I suck.
  The good news is,I have a new puppy!! Her name is Millie and I can't get enough of her. Russell is learning to be sweet. He's not so good at it, but at night they're so sweet! She'll leave me to snuggle Russell, I love it. I guess its her way of saying "I still love you even though you pull my tail and sit on me". In other news,baby Jared thinks that Russell has brown skin which means he was adopted. Wyatt has decided he.doesn't want a paci anymore....just milk, which makes bedtime a nightmare...and he's 22 lbs. Good news about the new house... The kids' new school is about 1 minute from a Sonic. So when Russell Owen starts school and I get that first phone call from the office saying I need to come get him, I can swing by and grab a Rt44 on my way :) should soften the blow I would imagine. Blogging fromy phone pretty much Su ls so I'm done now. Millie ate through the internet cords soooo, yeah. le

RUSSELL!!!!!!

I love Russell Owen. I love all my kids, I just don't have to remind myself as often, lol. I mean that in a nice way. Russell was in a particularly Russell-ish mood a few weeks ago. I walked in to the piano room and found him squirting my lotion all over the floor, himself, his hair, Wylee, some on the baby, and all over the new tv stand thing (still wrapped in plastic thank goodness). I thought I took a photo of him covered in lotion but I guess I didn't. Okay, I can handle that. Its just lotion, at least the room will smell good.....flash forward to a couple of hours later.

I can't remember for the life of me what I had to do right that moment on the computer, but it was important (I'm sure Jared is rolling his eyes and thinking to himself, facebook isn't important) I don't think it was facebook though. I really can't remember what I was doing right then...doesn't really matter anymore. I heard the sound of a marker on the door and I turned and saw this:

King size sharpie marker all over my bedroom door. I have no idea where the marker came from. The orange part is where I tried to erase it with a dry erase marker. Looks like we'll be painting our door soon.

While I was scrubbing the door I heard an aluminum can hit the counter top in my bathroom. Crap. I set my diet coke on the counter in there while I was looking for the dry erase marker and now he's probably drinking it! Nope. Not drinking it. Just dumping it all over the counter, which dripped into the drawer...and then down into the cabinets. That's cool. I wanted to wipe down the insides of those anyways. I jotted something down about milk too BUUUUTTT I don't know what I was trying to write, so just know that there is a funny milk story floating somewhere around in my head.

Now, on to last nights escapades. I was in the kitchen working on my roasted chicken and I heard big Jared say, "No RUSSELL! Go see Mommy, GO SEE MOMMY! Russell DON'T"...and in walks Russell. Looking like this:

Russell found an ink pad and COVERED himself WHILE standing behind Jared in the same chair that Jared was sitting in. He said he kept hearing some annoying noise that sounded like rubbing but didn't turn around....MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE TURNED AROUND! So off to the bath he goes...

If we're friends on facebook or you follow me on Instagram then you've already seen all of these pictures, so sorry :)

So after a good hour long soaking and his daddy scrubbing him with hydrogen peroxide, he's pretty clean. Still kind of blue, but clean. We had dinner, we had FHE, we looked through scrapbooks that Jared and his mom made when he was younger. Normal evening. Then Russell pooped. Some call it the woodland creature poop. I'll leave it at that. Big Jared thinks he's funny and said there was no need to change him, he held him upside down and LET THE POOP FALL ONTO MY RUG! I got annoyed, I yelled, I demanded Russell come get a new diaper while Jared cleaned up the poop from the rug and right as I was opening the new diaper up, Russell peed. All over his own face, his pj's and the floor. It was disgusting! Poop on the rug and pee on the floor in under 2 minutes. I'm pretty glad yesterday is over.

I'm sure some people read this blog and question my parenting skills. I'm a good parent, I know this. Russell is a challenge and he likes to have fun by getting into a little trouble. He gets disciplined just like the rest of our children, but if I don't have fun with his antics then I will go insane. And...ain't nobody got time for that! He is a sweet boy who loves his Papa and cries tears of joy when his daddy walks through the door each evening. He likes to snuggle his momma in bed at night and he falls asleep with his hand on my face just to be sure I'm not going anywhere. He likes to shake his rear to music and loves super heroes. He's a child of God, and we love him no matter what.

Now for some pictures of the rest of my sweet babies!

Best friends.

Look how sweet they are every once in a while!

This guy skipped sitting up and went straight to crawling and pulling up on furniture. He does officially sit up now though.

The two lone girls of the family!

Boys are weird.

Ah Christmas. I love Christmas. I love putting the elf, Trigger, in different spots every night and watching the kids' faces when they find I'm in the morning.

*Wylee just shoved a bead up her nose and I had to quit typing to help her shoot it out. That JUST happened. I wish I could say it was the first, but it wasn't. And it surely won't be the last...she shoves things in her nose quite a bit*

Anyways, Trigger was brought into our home in hopes of encouraging the kids to behave...which worked for like a day. I'm hatching A plan right now that will be great if I actually do it. We always tell our kids that "Santa is watching, he won't bring you gifts if you are bad" blah blah blah, but I've never actually not given my kids a Christmas because they were bad. In all honesty, Santa shouldn't be coming to our house this year. The kids have been on the naughty list in my book. So I'm thinking about heading down to Mom's barn and filling up a giant sack of horse $@&# and setting it in the middle of my living room on christmas morning labeled as reindeer poop. There will be a nice letter from Santa explaining that he ran out of coal this year so they get poop instead. Thoughts?

Russell has been a doozy lately. He just stood in front of me and fished a battery out of his diaper, then 2 more from his pocket...which is why I say boys are weird. They are.

I had no intentions of stopping at sonic for a rt44 this morning. I really didn't, but our weekly trip to Walmart warranted not only a rt44 but some onion rings as well. I hate those stupid carts with the two it kid seats attached. I was talked into getting one this morning as they promised they would behave. And I believed them! Shame on me. Two hours later we finally checked out and I all but pulled my own hair out of my head. Public spankings, check. Yell a the kids across the store, check. Break up a toddler fist fight in front a bunch of people, check (and check again). Stop the kids from licking the gift cards, sadly...check. What a beating. 2 hours of that kind of crap, over and over again. Wow. I know I'm of alone but man I sure felt like I was at the moment...

I haven't been recording Russell's moments lately so this post won't be too exciting but as I think of them I'll write them down. My brain is fried. Merry freaking Christmas :)

All you have to do is tell them your name....

Things have been a little nuts around here.....the blog took a back seat to living life I guess. Russell hasn't taken a break from being naughty, that's for sure! But then again, neither have the others.

As I stood in line to vote on Tuesday I looked down and realized that Wyatt had yellow marker ALL over his face and then an earlier conversation with Wylee started to come back to me....

(As I walked into the living room)
Wylee: Mommy, Russell colored on Wyatt's face with a markerrrrrr.
Me: Russell is asleep, don't blame him for things that he didn't do.
Wylee: Okkkayyyyyy...

Russell was actually not asleep anymore and he was sitting on the ground  between the couch and the coffee table, which he also colored all over. My brain is so tired I can't even remember all of the stories from the last month. I should have written them down somewhere, maybe made a note or two. He's been his usual little daredevil self, jumping from things and climbing way to high. He's bitten, pinched, punched, kicked, slapped, hugged and kissed (everyone, including non family members). He throws his food, and eats with his hands. He insists on using a big boy cup and then spilling everywhere. He let the bath tub run for several hours a few weeks ago. Looking back, that may have been my fault. Wylee walked out of my bedroom saying that Russell just wanted to take a little cold bath, but Russell walked out about 30 seconds later so I figured they were pretending. A few hours later I heard water running and found the bath tub completely full, thank goodness for those little holes in that silver thingy!! We would have had a flooded bathroom. He figured out how to climb on top of the dryer to get to his Halloween bucket and how to open the giant bag of popcorn in the pantry to help himself (I'm okay with that part).

Now on to Jared....the kindergartner, you know, the one who things food in the cafeteria is free as long as you tell them your name. I actually don't think I have told that story yet. From the beginning....

Jared pulled a spork out of his pocket one day after school so I asked him why he had that, he told me he needed a straw for his drink and it came with the straw......he takes a thermos with an attached straw to school. He then told me that he went through the line and got a chocolate milk, so I asked him how he paid for it. Knowing that his parents are super cheap he threw his hands in the air (as if to stop me from flipping out) and said..."Don't worry Mom, it's free. All you have to do is tell them your name and they let you take the milk." I explained to him that it wasn't free and mommy would be getting a bill for that milk. A couple days later I got a bill in his binder for $12.00!! So I asked him exactly how much chocolate milk he had been getting. That's when I found out he'd been getting breakfast, too. He again tried to tell me that they never asked him for money, so it was free. We had a long conversation about how the only time he should go through the line is if I forgot to give him breakfast or if he left his lunch at home. The next week we get a $14 bill. He admits to getting some more breakfast....then came the $16 bill. Jared and I BOTH try to get it through his brain that he is not allowed to charge food.

I know that I can tell the cafeteria to stop letting him, I was concerned that he might be super hungry if he didn't eat breakfast and I didn't want to leave him with no options. Apparently a Kindergartner gets a little taste of freedom and runs with it.

So we are up to $42 in negative balances and each time I sent a check in I would write it over a bit just for some cushion. Halloween morning I had volunteered to work an activity at the school so I got there at 7:45 and what do you know....Jared is walking down the hall licking his fingers. So I stop him and ask him if he charged his breakfast AGAIN, of course he did. I go to the cafeteria to talk to the lady and let her know that Jared is no longer allowed to have breakfast unless he has cash. That's when I found out that he had a negative $16.50 balance. She said, "I asked him if he was supposed to be getting breakfast this morning and he looked at me and said (she has a sad look on her face with puppy dog eyes as she is telling me what he said) 'My mommy didn't feed me breakfast this morning, and I'm so hungry.'....of course she let him charge. I would have. So I wrote another check and signed a sheet saying no more breakfast. I asked her how often he gets breakfast in there and she said "every morning". WHAT?!?!?!?! I feed him or send food with him EVERY DAY! After all the checks were written Jared spent $86 in the cafeteria in his first 8 weeks of school. Don't try to do the math, I didn't mention all of the bills and no one else charged on his account, his picture shows up along with his number.

That's all I got. I'm sure I'll remember something else as the day goes on, or Russell will provide some new blog material :)

Yogi BARE and a first side kit.

Let me start out this post by saying it will embarrass a lot of people. Me, my husband, my dad...even the reader may get embarrassed. If you often pee a little when laughing then you should make a trip to the bathroom real quick. Consider yourself warned.

I don't even know where to start. I guess I'll begin with a text message from my dad. He was watching the kids for me this evening while I got paint at Wal-mart.

Daddy: YOGI BEAR DOESN'T NEED TO BE STARTED FROM THE BEGINNING WOW WOW WOW

Me: I know!!!!! I meant to delete that movie!!!

Me: I was beyond mortified the other day!!!!

Daddy: YOU BETTER

Me: Jared did it.

Daddy: I had to make them go in your room while I was panicking and fumbling the remote

Daddy: Jared yelled "that's the movie Daddy wouldn't let us watch!"

Me: Hahahahahahahaha

Me: I'm dying right now, can't even talk to the paint guy

Daddy: Still shaking- they might as well drink tea now and take up smoking

Me: Hahahaha

Now I'll rewind to Friday...Jared recorded Yogi Bear for the kids in the middle of the night so that it didn't interfere with any other recordings. Wellllllll our DVR records the last 3 minutes of the movie or show that comes on before the one you are trying to record. YIKES!!!! Parents: Make sure the movie that comes on before the recorded movie isn't hard core porn. I couldn't press fast forward quickly enough! Why didn't I hit stop? Oh, I don't know. I couldn't think straight! And with every punch of the fast forward button came a new sex scene! Who plays Yogi Bear right after a porno?!?! Anyways, I forgot to delete the movie after I let the kids watch it. So Jared started it for them Sunday afternoon...he was aware of what happened so he had the kids leave the room while he fast forwarded it to Yogi Bear. He didn't delete the movie either. Sorry Dad. I couldn't even talk to the paint guy I was laughing so hard at the counter, I thought I was gonna pee in my pants!

Maybe that wasn't so embarrassing, and I bet no one peed their pants....but I almost did.

I finally made it home. Jared is at the Ranger's game tonight so macaroni and cheese with hot dogs it is!! I am constantly telling the kids to leave the kitchen while I cook...CONSTANTLY. And tonight they learned why. As I was stirring the boiling macaroni water I managed to splash a giant serving-spoonful down my side and hip. I screamed like I was in a horror movie, that flippin HURT! So all 3 kids stood there half laughing and half crying, unsure whether I was just being funny or just in a lot of pain...in an attempt not to scare them I started acting like a fool so they would stop crying and keep laughing. I think it worked. They learned a lesson, when mom says leave the kitchen you better LEAVE THE KITCHEN. Little Jared is so sweet (sometimes, haha) so he grabbed his "First Side Kit" (first aid kit) and informed me that this was his last giant band aid and I needed to refill his container. So I'm bandaged up, it hurts like a you know what though!

Part of me feels like our Yogi Bare-butt story should be kept within the family...but I can't not post about it, it's too funny. Way too funny....

I need a vacation.

Well we had another eventful trip to Costco yesterday. My list was short so my plan was to load everyone up around 10:30, go grab a few things and feast on lunchables (that's what Jared calls samples) and then have some giant hotdogs for lunch. All was well until Russell dropped his FULL Sprite on the ground :/. Still not that big of a deal...kids finally finish they're hotdogs and I grab my Diet Coke, which as you all know, is as good as gold to me. I load everyone up and kick myself as I realize that I have yet again forgotten to ask for a box at checkout. Such a rookie mistake. As I'm closing the back door I hear Wylee say "oops! Sorry mommy! I spilled my sprite." Uugghh....could be worse. It's worse :( its all over my seat and down in between the console and chair, and its not her Sprite. It's my "much needed-gonna save the day" Diet Coke. Shoot. Good thing I keep a 32 pack handy, AND we were having Frito pies for dinner so I had that to look forward to, right? No. Everyone cried about how the chili was spicy, Wylee only wanted the fritos, Russell was throwing his all over the walls and window (he even rubbed some in Jared's hair), big Jared was still full from lunch...whatever, I enjoyed mine. My story ends with Russell shoving his finger so far up MY nose that it starts bleeding (its still sore). It's Friday, yippie!! While

I may not survive Russell Owen.

Russell has been pretty busy since last week. I need a vacation. He was actually doing really well on Monday and Tuesday last week...then he had a well check at 8:30 on Wednesday. I thought I was being super-smart-mom by scheduling his 2 year check up at the same time as Wyatt's 4 month. Knock em both out at the same time, no need for a sitter! It turned out to be more like not-so-super-smart-mom. I got there 10 minutes early they open at 8 (I think) so I thought the wait would be minimal if I scheduled it really early. We enter the elevator with some guy who kindly held the door for us AND he let Russell push the button...but Russell pushed the HELP button. The lady answered and I explained that the button was accidentally pushed so she hung up (without saying goodbye, meany). This is a really good start. Then we sign in and sit down, but Russell decided to get a cup of water from the water cooler. I hate that water cooler. Within 3 minutes of being in the waiting room he was soaked in water. Soaked. But don't worry, we waited so long to see the doctor that by the time it was our turn he was dry and FURIOUS. Our appointment was at 8:30, I got there early, and by 9 I went to the desk to see why we were waiting so long. Russell wouldn't stop screaming and crying, I almost joined him. I'm not the type that gets angry with people over something that is out of their control but I came close. My nerves were shot and we still had to do 4 shots for Russell and 2 for Wyatt. Once we finally got called back into a room all hell broke loose. Our pediatrician is our family doctor so on the table are stirrups...ladies, you know what's up. There's a drawer full of tools that go hand in hand with the sort of appointment that you would need those stirrups for. Russell found all of these things highly entertaining and I was so embarrassed for some reason. He. got. into. EVERYTHING. The biohazard trash can, almost knocked the lamp over, which I think also goes with the stirrups, he banged on the keyboard, he tried getting all of the instruments down off the counter, he unrolled the paper on the bed like a roll of toilet paper... I couldn't contain him for the life of me and we were in there for an HOUR AND A HALF. So after all that, I got to lay across him and pin his arms down while he got stuck 4 times. He cried so hard his nose started bleeding while we were in line to leave. SO even though he was super naughty, he got a milkshake....

Wylee capped off the evening by shoving a bead up her nose. Wednesday did, in fact, come to an end which I wasn't sure that it ever would. I can't even remember Thursday and Friday. I know Jared made it on and off of the school bus so that's all that really matters. Next up is Saturday...

I don't know whose bright idea it was to give the kids pie after lunch and then leave the table before they finished, but this is what happens when Russell is unattended at the table with Chocolate Creme Pie:

Sharing some pie with his best pal.

Smearing pie in his own hair. Two seconds later...

eating pie out of his own hair.

He's not crying, he's super excited and I caught him at the perfect moment.

Jared took him outside and hosed him off. I'm not sure why but Russell skipped a nap on Saturday but he had extra time to misbehave. He filled little Jared's cup up with ice and water and walked into the living room where I was laying on the ground playing with Wyatt and he DUMPED IT on my back. A little later on baby Jared started cracking up at the back door and in walked Russell BUTT NAKED. He decided to take his diaper off at the back door before he came inside. Most people just take their shoes off, but alright. Then I heard the bathroom water running which usually means he's making a big mess. Nope. He took his diaper off again and was sitting in the sink filling it up with water and hand soap. I took pictures but I won't be posting them :)

Ew I forgot, Friday WAS a big day for Russell. I dunno how this slipped my mind. 2:30 in the afternoon I decided to give the house a good vacuuming...2:45 in the afternoon I realized I hadn't seen Russell recently and Wylee was asleep (in timeout). I started in Wylee's room and he wasn't there, so I went to his room. Empty. My stomach drops and I feel a little sick, not cause I think something bad has happened to him, but I KNOW that he is up to no good. So as I'm headed towards my bedroom Russell comes running out with an Orange Sharpie marker, a new orange uni-brow and neck beard to match...along with some fancy orange arm hair. The knots have been validated and I am literally SCARED to walk into my own bedroom to see what else he colored on. I start at the computer desk where he has scribbled on the baby monitor and some paper...not as bad as I thought...but then I see the bathroom. This picture doesn't show the toilet or the whole bathtub but he tagged those, too. The bathtub was all around the edge and down into the tub. That little turkey scribbled on my newly painted bathroom wall!!!!! I panicked cause Jared was going to be home soon and our realtor was coming Saturday morning to look at the house so we can list it. I turned to trusty facebook where several people told me to use a dry erase marker, so that's what I did...not like I could make it much worse than it already was. I got it off of the toilet and bathtub completely and it dulled it on the wall. I ruined 4 dry erase markers in the process. Jared got home and asked me why I didn't just paint over it, lol, oh duh. I don't know.

Stinker.

As he watched me scrubbing the wall I told him he was a bad boy and deserved a spankin...so he called me a bad boy and actually did spank me. Saturday I found him admiring his art work and when he saw me he pointed his finger at me and called me a bad boy again and then spanked me on his way out the door.

Can't remember anything from Sunday. But on Monday he threw a handful of my jewelery into the toilet. Wouldn't have been THAT big of a deal if Wylee hadn't peed in it and forgot to flush. I didn't even want to wash it off...into the trash it went (Thanks for fishing it out Jared, haha). That brings us to today which hasn't been too exciting. He's just been jumping off the coffee table and climbing on things, the usual. Thank goodness cause I need a break from the naughtiness!