Do you wanna build a....SHUT UP

Apparently I wrote this March 5th and it never published. So here ya go.

Another snow day. I was actually rooting for a snow day last night because I LOVE turning my alarm off but if the kids don't really let me sleep in than I there is no point really. We had 2 snow days last week, then I kept them home for a 3rd because I really uncomfortable with our roads out here and then Friday they were released early because of the weather and now here we are....another snow day. I usually am a complete party pooper and I will try so hard to convince the kids that they don't really want to go outside and play in the snow because 2 minutes into it their gloves are wet and their shoes are wet and their jeans too and after 20 minutes they are all freezing and crying and have red faces and they want ME to make them hot cocoa so they can warm up. I'm just far too lazy for all of that, not to mention all the extra laundry that's involved. By lunch time though I figured I just didn't care and if they wanted to go out then fine, go out, build a flippin snow man and call it a day. So they did. Wyatt decided he would rather take a nap on the couch though, which was pretty weird but I think maybe he just didn't feel like putting clothes on. I even WALKED OUTSIDE AND TOOK PHOTOS. I must have a fever. Moose ate every single one of the snowmen that they built. Jared ended up building 2...Moose ate them both. Wylee finished hers and I took pictures and then Moose ate hers too which royally pissed her off. Russell never could quite make him but he gave it a good effort. Moose enjoyed the snow BIG time...last week he hated it.

When they were done with the snow Wylee wanted to color a picture for her teacher BUT she needed to glue two pieces of paper together so that she could make it BIG. Then Russell wanted to color, so she helped him glue his sheets together. I look over and Russell is gluing things to the palm of his hand. A crayon, a slinky dog toy (which didn't work), a sheet of paper, and I don't know what else. I told him to quit it and start coloring.....well he decided to glue his crayons to the paper instead. ANNNNDDDD this is why I'm scared for Russell Owen's future Kindergarten teacher. He's almost 5 years old and he still can't be trusted with a glue stick.

There's a good chance that you already read about this incident on Facebook, but I know there a few family members that aren't on there. Here's what happened when we finished eating dinner last night...

Jared (husband Jared, not child Jared): I'll give you $100 if you let me crack 3 eggs on your head.

Me: $100 American dollars?
Jared: Yes, American dollars, I get to crack 3 eggs on your head AND you can't get mad. 
Me: Let me see the $100...
Jared: do you honestly think I'm not good for it?
Me: good point. But what's the catch? I feel like there's a catch.
Jared: ok, so deal?
Me: Deal...

Egg #1, not too terrible but startling for sure. Kinda thought he smashed all 3 at once so egg #2 REALLY surprised me...then it all starts slowly dripping which is freakin nasty as crap AND THEN he takes the third egg and puts it away because our deal was 3 EGGS FOR $100!!!! I should have seen that coming. I mean, my gut was telling me "don't fall for this Elaine...you know better. He's too cheap to go throwin hondos around. Is that what people call hundred dollar bills? Hondos? I'm not sure anymore. There has to be a hidden agenda." then my mouth said "DEAL!" before my brain could process everything. Took forever to get those egg shells out.

I'm not sure I'm really ready for Spring Break next week. Usually I am but this year....I think we've had quite enough togetherness to last us a while. I am amazed at the amount of things that they can find to tattle on each other about. If they have nothing to tattle about then they either just make something up or pick something to whine about until I lose my mind. Actually, I took the boys to target yesterday so clearly I already have lost my mind. It was about as unenjoyable as you can probably imagine. BUT we did get a picture with the Target dog, which was apparently a very exciting thing.

Did he just say I'm bald?

You guys. If you want to completely make parenting worth while then you HAVE to buy Bean Boozled Jelly Bellys. I've had them hanging around the house all weekend but telling the kids that NO, they could NOT have any. The anticipation was killing them. Somehow the wrapper just "fell off". No one knows how that could have happened. Wyatt "accidentally" opened the box. Sunday afternoon I caught Wyatt sticking a black one in his mouth, it was too late to stop it and it was too late to grab the video camera.....it was either going to taste like licorice or skunk spray. I was praying for licorice. It was licorice. About 10 minutes later he quietly got another one out of the box, this one was either going to be baby wipes or coconut. It was the better one. I put the box up high so no one could get to them. Little Jared stayed home from school today because he has been coughing like crazy. The boys BEGGED me to let them eat the jelly beans in the little box. I couldn't hold off any longer so I agreed. I made room on my ipad for a few videos and I dumped them all out on a tray for easy access. Wyatt had already had 2 and hadn't had a nasty one yet...the odds were in my favor. It. Was. AWESOME.

They also have a version that comes with a spinner and you have to pick the color that it lands on, so hilarious! I had the pleasure of playing this game after Tosha and Kimber's baby shower not too long ago. I haven't laughed that hard on so long. It's really fun and disgusting. 

After they quit trying their luck with jelly beans we headed out the door to Rockwall Urgent Care. Loved listening to Wyatt tell me 24.5 times that he wanted a sucker (he got interrupted when they called Jared's name) and explaining to him 24 times that he had to wait until we went through the door and passed the suckers. That Wyatt. When we got in the examination room he got up in Jared's face saying "Lemme see your pink eyes..." hahaha. Jared told him that he didn't have pink eye anymore and that place was for a lot more than JUST pink eye. Duh. After Russell and Wyatt opened and shut the door a handful of times (to spy on anyone in the hallway) the doctor came in.....

You would think that Wyatt wouldn't embarrass us seeing as he was eating a sucker when the guy walked in. Nope. He tilted his head to the side, squinted his eyes, and POINTED his finger and said "your BWOWWWN" (while shaking his head up and down the entire time that he talks)

DR: "What?"

Wyatt: "you bwown"

DR: "What is he saying, mom?"

Me: I'm just laughing too hard to be able to speak

Wyatt: "YOU BWWWWOOOOWWWWNNNN"

Dr: "Huh?"

Just as I am about to tell him that Wyatt is letting him know that his skin is brown...

Dr: "Did he just say I'm bald?! Well yes, I am bald...You kind of look bald cause your hair is so light"

Me: face buried in my own lap laughing

Wyatt: "NO, I not bald. YOU BWOWN!"

Me (desperate to make him stop telling the black man that he's brown): "What does PaPa call you, Wyatt? He calls you cotton top because your hair is so white, doesn't he?!"

Wyatt: "No."

Awesome. I almost died right there at Rockwall Urgent Care. I'd have to say that this wins the "highlight of my day" award. Bean Boozled should have had it in the bag. I guess that means I had a pretty good day!