Let me start out this post by saying it will embarrass a lot of people. Me, my husband, my dad...even the reader may get embarrassed. If you often pee a little when laughing then you should make a trip to the bathroom real quick. Consider yourself warned.
I don't even know where to start. I guess I'll begin with a text message from my dad. He was watching the kids for me this evening while I got paint at Wal-mart.
Daddy: YOGI BEAR DOESN'T NEED TO BE STARTED FROM THE BEGINNING WOW WOW WOW
Me: I know!!!!! I meant to delete that movie!!!
Me: I was beyond mortified the other day!!!!
Daddy: YOU BETTER
Me: Jared did it.
Daddy: I had to make them go in your room while I was panicking and fumbling the remote
Daddy: Jared yelled "that's the movie Daddy wouldn't let us watch!"
Me: Hahahahahahahaha
Me: I'm dying right now, can't even talk to the paint guy
Daddy: Still shaking- they might as well drink tea now and take up smoking
Me: Hahahaha
Now I'll rewind to Friday...Jared recorded Yogi Bear for the kids in the middle of the night so that it didn't interfere with any other recordings. Wellllllll our DVR records the last 3 minutes of the movie or show that comes on before the one you are trying to record. YIKES!!!! Parents: Make sure the movie that comes on before the recorded movie isn't hard core porn. I couldn't press fast forward quickly enough! Why didn't I hit stop? Oh, I don't know. I couldn't think straight! And with every punch of the fast forward button came a new sex scene! Who plays Yogi Bear right after a porno?!?! Anyways, I forgot to delete the movie after I let the kids watch it. So Jared started it for them Sunday afternoon...he was aware of what happened so he had the kids leave the room while he fast forwarded it to Yogi Bear. He didn't delete the movie either. Sorry Dad. I couldn't even talk to the paint guy I was laughing so hard at the counter, I thought I was gonna pee in my pants!
Maybe that wasn't so embarrassing, and I bet no one peed their pants....but I almost did.
I finally made it home. Jared is at the Ranger's game tonight so macaroni and cheese with hot dogs it is!! I am constantly telling the kids to leave the kitchen while I cook...CONSTANTLY. And tonight they learned why. As I was stirring the boiling macaroni water I managed to splash a giant serving-spoonful down my side and hip. I screamed like I was in a horror movie, that flippin HURT! So all 3 kids stood there half laughing and half crying, unsure whether I was just being funny or just in a lot of pain...in an attempt not to scare them I started acting like a fool so they would stop crying and keep laughing. I think it worked. They learned a lesson, when mom says leave the kitchen you better LEAVE THE KITCHEN. Little Jared is so sweet (sometimes, haha) so he grabbed his "First Side Kit" (first aid kit) and informed me that this was his last giant band aid and I needed to refill his container. So I'm bandaged up, it hurts like a you know what though!
Part of me feels like our Yogi Bare-butt story should be kept within the family...but I can't not post about it, it's too funny. Way too funny....
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