Me: I'm an old grandma?
Russell: Yes.
I am ALWAYS the grandma in the games! ALWAYS. Or they call me a little old lady. Wylee plays a game called "moms and kids". I'll explain it just so you don't get confused. She's a mom....and she has kids. Moms and kids. I assume there is another mom somewhere. It isn't me though, because I am the GRANDMA and she is ALWAYS pretending like she can't watch her own dang kids cause she has to go to the store or go to school or set up for a party. I'm really not good at playing "pretending" games. I can't help it, I'm a party pooper. Mainly because they all tell me exactly what to say and whats going to happen next and how the game will end and they ask me things like 'what should my baby wear today?' but then when I answer they get on to me and tell me what they wanted me to say. All of them. "No. No, mama. This time when I ask you what she should wear you say 'ohhhhh, I don't know the pink pjs are sweet'...say that ok." Ok. Yes. I'll get it right this time...MAYBE.
If I'm not the grandma then I'm a stranger that they are telling their life's story to. Guess what, their mom is always DEAD. 90% of the time my kids are playing, they have knocked me off. Usually I get run over by a car while I'm walking in the street.
Today, Wyatt said he was the dad and he told me NOT to ask him if he needs a new diaper because dad's don't wear diapers...they wear panties. He also made me put a pillowcase over his head and then he carefully sat down on the ground and tucked his legs and feet inside, too, and started snoring. I guess he was camping, I don't really know. He then made a few pretend phone calls (normally I am supposed to be on the other end of the line). I got snapped at for answered a pretend phone. "NO. NO MAMA....I making calls. NOT YOU." Well, ok then. How about I just NOT play and watch you play, because that's more fun. You know what isn't fun? Getting yelled at by a 2 year old because you aren't talking on your banana like its a phone. Cause that also happened this morning. And anyways, I'm holding a grudge against Wyatt. The other morning he was under my covers and he started flipping out and throwing the comforter off of him so I freaked out too cause I didn't know WHAT was happening. He said he didn't want that cover on him cause it was covered in boogers. *Make a really confused face* What? I told him it was NOT covered in boogers and he said (more like yelled) "UH HUUUUHHH. It IS covered in boogers!!" and I said "Why do you think that?!?!" and he said....... "BECAUSE I'VE BEEN PICKING MY BOOGERS OUT OF MY NOSE AND PUTTING THEM THERE." Well now I'm speechless. And disgusted.
And then they found a stamp. So there's that.
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