Still a boy mom

Somewhere in Heaven, there is a a very special place. You won't find just anyone there. Just a select crowd of women. It is a place where mothers of boys are gathered. And like I said, it is SPECIAL...so special, because little boys are special. They aren't special in an ordinary way either, no...they are special in a way that not everyone can fully grasp. They are special in a "what the hell?!" kind of way. I know that not all little boys are created equal. But in my very own, three times over, special boy mom experience......I am whooped. Wyatt broke a melamine plate with his forehead last night while waiting on dinner. Wyatt is 3. Wyatt peed in 3 different places TODAY, none of those places were the actual toilet and NONE of those places were accidents. I know dad, I know. Right this moment in your head you are saying "whip his butt!" and you're laughing. Russell came down the stairs saying "my hand is covered in blood!!!" but in his other hand he's holding a red marker with the cap still off. 30 minutes later Wyatt comes down the stairs saying his face is covered in blood...with a blue uncapped marker in his other hand. SOMEONE ruined my iPad today. No one knows who did it, but a BOY had it in his hands when I found it shattered. It did last me 3 years without ANYTHING going wrong with it so I am actually really impressed. Boys love guns, especially BB guns. A vacuum cleaner finds a BB in the carpet like my foot finds a single lego in the middle of the night while I'm creepin down to the kitchen because all I want is a stack of oreos and a cup of milk to enjoy ALONE. Because sometimes that's all I want. Just some peace and quiet and oreos. Boys fill their pockets with stuff. Just a bunch of STUFF. Today I decided that as each pair of Little Jared's shorts come out of the dryer, I'm gonna whip stitch every single pocket SHUT. I found 14 fuzzies (pom pom balls used like money at school), a pair of ear buds (2 other pairs have gone through the wash and dryer in the last 2 weeks), and tortilla chips. TORTILLA CHIPS. Sometimes I find things that make me think that he realized his pockets were empty and the day was almost over so he just grabbed the closest thing he could find and stuffed it there. For good measure. Action figure weapons, rocks by the truck load, pennies, teeny tiny little toys that comes from who knows where, legos (of course), rubber bands, crayon wrapper shreds, crayons, snack wrappers, small washers, little nuts and bolts, marbles, any little tiny piece of metal anything, also anything shiny, bottle caps, lose fruit snacks, things that I don't even know the names of, paper clips, lose staples, glue stick lids, pen caps. All of it. I've found all of those things either in the pockets or in the washer, and sometimes they make it all the way to the dryer.

I started this post nearly 2 YEARS AGO. I don't know how I planned on finishing it but I'm going to post it anyways!